"The Jesus Christ Man"

A man claiming to be the second coming of Jesus Christ is becoming a rich man, thanks to followers and their donations.

...

His name is Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, but his followers call him Apostle, Dad or simply Jesus Christ Man.

They lavish him with money and gifts, like a BMW and three Rolexes

...

de Jesus is 60-years-old, a former heroin addict and a convict.

...

According to this self-proclaimed messiah, there is no sin, no devil.

"The devil is destroyed. Hell doesn't exist, no condemnation for the chosen ones,” de Jesus said.

- CBS3, Man Claims To Be Second Coming Of Jesus

Hmm. I don't remember preaching that on my first visit here.

Email me.

Yes, Jesus Christ has joined the social networking site's 70 million members, thanks to a cheeky new campaign from a Christian advertising group in the U.K.
"I have been waiting for God to get e-mail, but Jesus with MySpace is almost as good! It's been a long time coming," wrote a user known as Sophie, who is one of the 524 "friends" linked to the page.

- Edmonton Journal, Jesus trolls MySpace for converts, courtesy of Christian ad network

I am not surprised since Madonna thinks I am still very much in my tomb.

FYI, it's jesus.emails[at]gmail[dot]com.

Someone please tell Sophie.

Madonna "Crucified"

Her justification for performing a mock - double-meaning, perhaps? - crucifixion...

"It is no different than a person wearing a cross. My performance is neither anti-Christian, sacrilegious or blasphemous," she said in a statement.

"It is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another," the 48-year-old added.

"I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing," she continued.

The crucifix segment shows the singer performing her song Live to Tell suspended from a giant cross wearing a crown of thorns.

- BBC News, Madonna defends gig 'crucifixion'

Obviously, she has no idea about the existence of this blog.

Oh boy, I am good.

The Chinese in South East Asia has a very peculiar way of expressing humility - whenever they are complimented they will almost surely reject the compliment - as a way of accepting it with humility. In contrast, Christians use the phrase "Praise the Lord!" as their way of accepting compliments with humility - although sadly to many Christians "Praise the Lord!" is no more than a Christianized version of "thank yous".

My dear earthlings, if you'd like to praise me, praise me! If you'd like to thank me, thank me! If you don't want to, it's OK... - gratefulness has to come from within - not that I need you to be grateful to me... but it's a nice to be acknowledged sometimes. You do know that you can accept compliments AND praise and thank me at the same time, right? ;) Don't be afraid to accept compliments. Take my example, I compliment myself all the time and some of it were even recorded in the Bible; I remember saying what I created was good, good, good, good, good, good and very good. :)

I am at your foyer

Does the image on your left bear any resemblance of me? OK, maybe the stereotyped me - y'know the bearded, doe-eyed me with long flowing hair? Apparently this woman sees my image on her foyer and decides to make some money out of it by selling the house.

People see what they want to see, especially something as ambigous as the image on your left. That brings me back to Benny's speech which might seem unclear to the uninitiated although clear-cut to scholars; which might be the reason why it was misinterpreted by many... As I have said earlier: people see what they want to see.

Hmph. Come to think of it, the image above looks more like Shoko Asahara. :P

Benny

I know the subtitle of this blog says "DAILY RAMBLINGS OF THE ALMIGHTY" and I have not been posting for the past four three days - OK, Sundays don't count as it has always been my rest day. But I have good reasons. As you might have already heard, Benny - my earthly spokesman - got into hot soup because of an academic speech he made. What did I do? I stood by his side of course! Which is why I did not blog...

AH-HA! But you are the omnipresent God aren't you? *Snicker*

Well I have to show Benny my undivided attention, although he knows I am always by his side regardless whether I blog. Haven't you heard? Action speaks louder than words. ;)

For those of you who are observant enough, you might have noticed that I have added Paul as my co-author. After contributing a total of 13 books to the Bible, Paul figured why not contribute posthumously. Guess I have to change my subtitle to "DAILY RAMBLINGS FROM THE ALMIGHTY" - although it's Paul who writes but it is always me who inspires. *Grins*

Peanut Butter Parable

Should I spread a tablespoonful of peanut butter on many slices of toast? Surely every piece will taste quite bland. In the same way, should I poke my finger into every pie? Surely that will also spread me quite thin.

Seven Sorrows of the Virgin Mary

Contrary to popular belief, "Mary was declared pregnant" was not the first sorrow nor was it the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh. For more accurate information on the Seven Sorrows, CLICK HERE.

Moses and his electric guitar

I don't remember giving Moses an electric guitar.

Paul's Message on Marriage

LOL. I am amused by the Message's version of 1st Corinthians 7 : 25-28:

Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? DON'T. GET. MARRIED. But there's certainly no sin in getting married, whether you're a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.

Of course, the italics, CAPS and all the "additional" emphases were mine; the rest were as is.

Paul's single by the way.

LOL. Paul, Paul... :)

Disclaimers

One of Us
by Joan Osborne

If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

*And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets (*)

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome(*)

Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

To be honest, I do like this song but just a few disclaimers:

1. My name's Jesus.
   
2. As a matter of fact I DO have a face - CLICK HERE for potraits of me
   
3. I am NOT a slob... though mother might beg to differ :P
   
4. Father and HS keeps me company
   
5. The Pope does not have my number; don't bother asking him for it
6. I don't have a sixth disclaimer...
7. Or a seventh - I just like things in sevens. ;)
   

Oh by the way, if you know Miss Osborne, could you tell her that although she can't meet me face to face she can now email me her questions? Thanks.

How can God be all-knowing?

I get that question a lot and I sometimes chuckle at the answers theologians and philosophers gave in an attempt to answer this question.

What's my secret?

Click here. ;)

Don't Read This

I don't know what's with humans (OK... "I know", I was being rhetorical) they do exactly the things which I had commanded them NOT to. Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. The Hebrews (whom I brought out of Egypt) broke my first commandment worshipping a golden calf. Now observe today's Gospel reading: notice that the more I insist that no one was to speak of the miracle I performed the more they kept talking about it! Argghhhhhh... humans! They will be the death of me - oh wait, they were. *sigh*

Hmmm. Perhaps I shall use reverse psychology the next time.

Money is not the only thing that grows on trees...

There was once I overheard...

- OK, I don't actually "overhear" because I know-all -

...a conversation between two youth ministers:

Youth Leader 1: We don't have enough full-time workers.
Youth Leader 2: [cynical] What do you suggest?
Youth Leader 1: [cheery] Well, we should hire MORE full-time workers!
Youth Leader 2: [sarcastic] Well do they grow on trees?
Youth Leader 1: [cheery] Yes!
Youth Leader 2: [annoyed + rolls eyes] What sort of trees?
Youth Leader 1: MinisTREES!

LOL. Cute creatures I have made. :)

Happy Birthday Mother!

It's my mother's birthday today and I got her a birthday cake (Thanks Martha! No, not Martha Stewart (not yet anyway) - I was refering to Martha, the sister of Mary and Lazarus. It was a triple-chocolate fudge cake with chocolate-coated strawberry toppings (Yum!); it looks kinda like the one in the picture on your left. There were no candles on the cake this time, simply because there were too many of them to light; by the time I lit the 2000th candle, the rest of the 1,999 would have already melted halfway. Besides I wouldn't want to remind mother of her age, although I know she wouldn't mind. ;)